Sex ed in color x sx noir
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It all started when…
I had the honor of being featured on a recent episode of @sexedincolor With @blkgirlmanifest "We're tackling digisexuality, sex-tech, activism, and why YOU need to take up space."
I get to speak about my thoughts on mutually beneficial relationships in the future of sex technology. The importance of Erotic Intelligence in the digital age. How to take up air as a Black woman in the future of sex and much more!
Over the next week, I will be sharing more of our dialogue and expanding on our conversation via insta story :) @SXNOIR
I made some honorable mentions of my favorites
. @melodiousmsm with @eroticintelligence
. @bryonycole with @futureofsex
. @suzziesinatra with @privatepacks
. @gabalexa with https://gabriellealexa.com/
. @polly_claire with @unboundbabes
. @mtotheia with @talk.tabu
. @doroshow with @glits_inc
. @itskylanotkayla with @underthingshop
Whew!! What an all star list :)
Listen here and be sure to follow us on social media to stay up to date
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True life can’t even find a good hummer because the Sex workers are shadow banned 🥴 https://t.co/rgJqst907c -
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RT @bryonycole: TOMORROW NIGHT #NYC #free #ladiesnight #events #Williamsburg #femtech #sextech JOIN @getmaude and @Ask_Tia for an e… https://t.co/iICp02gZtO
We’re Calling You In Ashley
How @SXNoir got Ashley Judd to start listening to consensual sex workers
The Wing, a members-only work and community space for women, hosted a conversation with actress and activist Ashley Judd last week. Ashley Judd has gotten backlash recently for her comments on Twitter and Instagram calling prostitution “paid rape” and other SWERF (sex-work-exclusionary-radical-feminist) ideations like “cash is proof of coercion”. Judd works with the organization Demand Abolition whose goal is to eradicate the commercial sex trade.
Support of eradicating the sex-trade tends to focus on ending human trafficking but ignores the nuanced voices of women working in the consensual sex industry. With the passing of FOSTA-SESTA, (Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act) websites like Backpage, Craigslist, and Tumblr have started to crack down on adult content. Many consensual sex workers use these sites for advertising, and for vetting new clients. To completely ban, or to “shadow-ban” - where your page no longer comes up in searches, is to deny consensual sex workers a chance to choose clients online, pushing more women into the street where there are less safety precautions available. It further marginalizes an already high-risk group of women, mostly women of color.
Frustrated by Ashley Judd’s tendency to block women on social media who @ her about her support of Demand Abolition, Brooke Kelty and founder of @SXNOIR organized a protest of Judd’s event at The Wing. @SXNOIR got the mic during the Q&A and told Ashley Judd, “I’m not here to call you out, I’m here to call you in” and invited Ashley and The Wing a chance to facilitate conversations between high-profile feminists like Ashley Judd and consensual sex workers. Outside a group of consensual sex workers gathered with signs with “Don’t Be A SWERF” and printed out tweets from sex workers that Ashley Judd blocked. We also continued the conversation in digital spaces with the #MoreThanOurOrifices #CashIsNotCoercion. Our goal is to hold organizations accountable that claim to be “All Inclusive” that they also include Sex Workers. @SXNOIR is ALL about a Sex-Positive lifestyle and that absolutely means the active inclusion of Sex Workers. Organizations like The Wing have to understand that to be inclusive it is not enough to just be open, rather you have to be actively working on making sure that Sex Workers are apart of relevant conversations as well as comfortable in the space. The next says the founder of @SXNOIR El-Hi attended an event at The Wing and was harassed by a member in regards to the protest. Claiming that she disrespected the “sacred” space of The Wing. In reality, this just brings to light the true work of inclusion that is needed in privileged member only spaces like The Wing.
Although the conversation was cut short due to the constraints of the event, Ashley Judd and The Wing have both expressed that they want to continue working with @SXNOIR to create a more inclusive dialogue about sex work and sex positivity as a whole. Watch this space for coming soon.
Watch the conversation and protest here:
SX NOIR x JUANAZINE
PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO JUANA ZINE VIA THIS LINK
ONLY READ IF YOU SUBSCRIBE ;) Kidding not kidding
SX NOIR x JUANA ZINE
written by Rachel Nevels , founder of Juana ZINE
What's your cannabis meets intimacy routine?
“In a world where all we’re taught about sexual health is the reproductive system and how to prevent disease, it is necessary to have sex positive spaces that destigmatize conversations around sex, love, and self-care. SX Noir, launching in the New Year, is one of those spaces.
“From a young age I was hyper-aware of the power of women and how intertwined sex is with everything we do,” says El- Hi, sexologist and founder of SX Noir. “I also realized that although sex was in everything we did, it was to be actively suppressed.”
Traditionally, there has either been porn, monotonous sex academia, or late night sex talks with Sue Johanson for our burning and sometimes embarrassing inquiries about sex. But in the age of digital media and vast amounts of shared information, we now have the esteemed sex-blogger to look to for our sexual enlightenment.
“SX Noir is a sex-positive lifestyle platform that promotes conversation for millennials to understand sex, dating, and self-love.”
“My definition of sex positivity is having a positive attitude towards sex and removing the stigma from a healthy sex life. I have a keen interest in pleasure and how millennials will find such in the digital age - especially as it concerns technology. We need [these] spaces for people of color, men, women and nonbinary to discuss sex and dating. We simply don't have enough spaces.”
“The only place where sex positivity is talked about with any ounce of honesty is in a good sitcom, and that's not good enough. We have to do better,” she continued.
No. Sex-bloggers and activist do not replace scientific research or academia, but they do provide a much needed voice and space for niche audiences to discuss sexuality.
No. Sex-positivity isn’t a new concept, but the ideology has become more mainstream - and it couldn’t have happened at a better time.
Need I say more?
Somewhere along the way, sexuality has become so heavily perverted by society that many of us shy away from it, and don’t educate ourselves beyond what we’re taught (the birds and the bees), or what we see in the media. Not only this, but the narrative has been dominated and controlled by white men for centuries - and we see where that has gotten us.
We all have our own unique sexual profile, and coming into your sexuality is a process similar to becoming an adult; the better you get at it, the more there is to know! But this seemingly straightforward process can be complicated, especially when you neglect to nurture it and are constantly feed images based on someone else’s idea of sexuality (with no regard for your own).
“[Early on] I realized that although we were always chasing pleasure, we never talked about it. I also found that people often tried to dictate what you should find pleasurable from a young age. I later came to the understanding that I love and am really good at connecting with others and putting myself in their shoes. I am selfless and nonjudgmental when talking to people about their sex lives, nothing surprises me. I don't judge first, I listen first,” the sexpert exclaimed.
A little Savage Fenty lingerie and wine while getting ready
Communities like SX Noir offer a safe space to explore sexuality without feeling ashamed for doing so, or without falling victim to the many pressures of society. Sexuality in this sense, isn’t so much about who you have sex with, but how you feel about sex and the role it plays in your intimate relationships, as well as your everyday life. This goes beyond choosing a partner, or which sex positions you like. Your sexuality is shaped by your individual values, culture, spirituality and experience. And it is all of these things that ultimately shape your sexual identity and how you choose to express yourself.
“SX Noir takes on lifestyle topics through a sex-positive stamp of approval for our users. My goal is not to scream ‘I’M A QUEER BLACK FEMME’ but to destigmatize by simply existing.”
If you have neglected, or are struggling to understand your sexuality, start by educating yourself. You may in fact already be living a “sex positive” life, but continuing education is key to maintaining your sexuality. It is also healthy to discuss issues that surround sexuality with a community like SX Noir, which promotes conversations to understand sex and sexual health - as it is all too common to feel alone, or like no one can relate to a certain situation you may be going through. For those looking to enhance their sex lives in any way, at the top of your continuing education list should be the relationship between cannabis and sex.
Cannabis has been so wildly successful because it can be used in almost every aspect of our lives. It can be taken as a pill, sublingually ingested, vaporized, smoked, eaten, and even applied topically. In addition to the many ways you can use it are even more reasons why you would want to. Alas, one of the most natural and amazing reasons to use cannabis also happens to be one of the most taboo and least talked about. Sex.
What are your favorite munchies? My ultimate guilty pleasure is Cheetos Flamin Hot Fries
“Cannabis is one of the most commonly used substances, alongside alcohol and tobacco, that can be really fun when done in a meaningful way,” El-Hi says. “Just like your favorite cocktail it may take trial and error to find the perfect fit. Personally, my favorite cocktail is a shaken gin martini with a twist...preferably Hendricks, but I will accept tanqueray. With my marijuana I am less picky, but I do lean toward sativa and like my drink, I prefer a bit of a punch, so dabs and wax blunts are more my style.”
Both scientific and psychological studies on the effects of marijuana and sexual health / sexual interocrouse are limited. However, during a recent study at St. Louis University in Missouri, researchers surveyed 133 adult women during annual gynecology check-ups and found that almost two-thirds (exactly 62%) said it increased their libidos and the pleasure of orgasm. The same team then surveyed a larger group and their results echoed the first study, concluding that 65% of women found cannabis to enhance their sexual experience.
While these studies may be groundbreaking for some, cannabis is known to have been used in tantric sexual practices, as early as 700 AD in India - which means that the relationship between cannabis and sex is nothing new. El-Hi suggests cbd massage oils, cbd bath balms, or cbd tea for novice cannabis users.
“The idea is to start slow in order to gauge tolerance and comfort level when introducing cannabis into the bedroom,” she explained. But if you want to kick things up a notch, she suggests trying a low dose edible (with your preference of sativa or indica), cannabis infused lube, a trincture drink, or rolling a good ol’ fashioned joint. The choice is yours.
“My favorite way to introduce cannabis into my intimacy routine/bedroom is a beautifully rolled joint with a glass of a light pinot noir or sparkling rose, followed by a CBD oil massage, and before bed...a delicious hash honey lavender tea with fresh mint.”
Beyond pleasure, cannabis has the ability to help individuals who have trauma associated with sex overcome those obstacles.
“It is known that cannabis psychologically helps the mind as well as physically helps the body relax and when it comes to intimacy and pleasure - that is a big part of it all,” El-Hi inststs.
“I also strongly believe that cannabis has incredible medicinal benefits. The plant undoubtedly helps people dealing with anxiety, depression, PTSD, insomnia, etc. But we are still in a space where most people tend to have a good [or bad] reaction without much consideration as to how they injected the plant, or which strain has to do with their reaction.”
Our comprehension of how cannabis interacts with our body, primarily as it pertains to our health, will have a huge impact on how the cannabis industry evolves. Through activism within the community, and by stimulating conversations like this one, SX Noir is not only making strides within the sex industry, but within the cannabis industry as well.
For as long as women have been fighting for sexual equality and a voice on sexuality in general, you would think that we would be further along. Platforms like SX Noir are here to remind us that there is still work to be done; first on ourselves, then within society.”
A word from our founder:
SX NOIR would like to personally thank Rachel, the founder of Juana Zine. Here at SX NOIR we are all about taking up space in the sex-positive world. For Black Women, cannabis is an industry where we collectively need to take up as much space as possible and we are blessed Juana is making that space. I think it is imporant for everyone to be mindful of thier cannabis use and be excited about the possibilities of using it in a way that can help you not only explore yourself but also your intamacy with yourself and partners. Historically we have used it for so many reasons, lets start making that connection with sex. I look forward to more from SX NOIR x Juana.
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Welcome to your new favorite addiction...
sx noir is everything youre afraid to say about sex love and lust
It all started when…
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